“When my parents were getting a divorce it was so weird at home. Mum and Dad were acting like aliens. At night I could hear them rowing but in the day they hardly talked to each other. I was really worried about what was going to happen and so I spoke to my teacher about it. She made me feel better and told me it wasn’t my fault and Mum and Dad still loved me.

Now they’re divorced and I’m getting used to living with Mum and seeing Dad at the weekends. I’ve got my own room in his new flat. I helped to decorate it and put up some of my favourite posters from my room at home.

Abi, 10

Are things weird for you at home? Are your parents talking about splitting up, or have they already split? Are you confused by what it all means and how it will affect you? We’ve got some ideas that should answer a few questions that might be buzzing round your head.

Mum and Dad are splitting up

When people get married they think they’ll be together forever. Sometimes they decide that they should split up. They might stop living together to see how they feel living apart. This is called a separation.

Just because people are rowing doesn’t mean they will get divorced. A divorce is when people end their marriage. But if they do it doesn't mean that everything will change but there will be some changes in how and where you all live. Try not to be scared. It’s not your fault.

It's not your fault

Got that! Repeat after me – ‘none of this is my fault’.

Nothing you have done has made your parents split up. If you have a brother or sister, try asking them how they feel.

Try to remember that Mum and Dad still love and care about you. They are having problems with each other, not you. They’re just unhappy with each other at the moment.

If you want to find out more have a look at the It's not your fault website.

Things that might make you feel better

• Draw a face that shows how you feel or look through a magazine and rip out pictures that show what you’re worried about.
• Talk it over with someone you trust. Once you’ve got the first words out – you’ll feel better.
• Think of something you could do to cheer yourself up – maybe spend time with a friend or watch a funny film.
• You might not feel like playing but give it a go. It might cheer you up for a while. 

If you like writing stories, write one about what’s been happening. Or you might like to try writing a diary.