“I can’t believe how mad it is in our house sometimes. Mum and dad have really bad fights and sometimes mum gets sworn at and called names. I’ve seen dad push her and he even hits her sometimes. When I came back from nan’s the other week, furniture and other things in the house were broken and mum was crying. I’m really glad I spoke to Dan at the Youth Group about it. He told me it happens to other people and it isn’t my fault.”

Becky, 9

My mum/ dad/ carer is violent - what can I do about it?

Abuse at home is often known as domestic violence and it affects lots of families. It happens when one grown up attacks or bullies another member of the family. They might call them names, hurt their feelings, make them scared, or hit them.

People in your family will try to keep what’s going on a secret. Maybe, like you, the person who is being hurt is feeling upset and afraid. You might see them cry. All grown ups cry. They are probably worried about lots of things, and want to protect you.

You are never to blame for what is happening. You and the rest of your family have the right to feel safe and happy at home.

I’m too scared to tell anyone but want it to stop, what should I do?

Tell another person in your family or another adult you trust what is happening at home. If you want, you could ask them to talk to your parent for you.

Hull Women’s Aid offers advice and support to women and children suffering abuse in the home. Call (01482) 446099 if you want to speak to someone. You can have a look at the Women's Aid website. Remember you can hide the web page if you want to.

Hull Women’s Aid have ‘refuges’ - secret houses where women escaping domestic abuse can stay. Find out what a 'refuge’ can be like here (link opens in a new window). 

What to do if things get really bad

If the fighting gets really bad, here are some good ideas for keeping safe:

• Don’t get stuck in the middle of a fight – stay away from it
• You could hide in a safe place at home or nearby, and tell your brothers and sisters to hide too
• You could go to a neighbour or another adult you trust and tell them what is happening
• You can call the 24 Hour Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247 or in an emergency call the police on 999.

It takes time for people who have been hurt and scared by violence to feel safe and happy again but they can eventually. There are lots of people who can help them build a happier, safe future.