I’m adopted and want to find my birth parents – how can I do this?

It’s natural to be curious about your birth parents but trying to find them is something that is better left until you are much older.

Ask your adoptive mum or dad if you have a report or a life story book or a letter for later life.  This will explain most of the things you want to know about.

Adoptive families can be as happy and can love children just as much as birth families. If you are unhappy talk to an adult you trust, like your teacher.

Settling into a new family life

“When I was adopted I had to go to a new school, had a new house and new rules. I found things hard at first so talked to my social worker and she helped me tell the new family how I was feeling. It was a bit weird to start with but once we all got to know each other it was cool. I really feel at home now and part of the family.”

Elise, 12

However you’re feeling, try talking about it with someone else.

Maybe write a story based around what’s happened to you or write your thoughts down in a notebook.

It’s ok to miss your birth parents. Being with your adoptive family doesn’t mean you have to forget the past. This is just a new chapter in your life.

There may be times when you feel very aware of being fostered or adopted. Birthdays might remind you of your birth parents. It’s easy to blame problems at home on being fostered or adopted but remember all families have ups and downs.

Adopted children can look very different from their adoptive parents. This can be tough if people make comments about how similar the parents and their birth children look. But feeling loved and happy is more important than looking alike!

I’m in care and about to get a new family-what if I don’t like them?

Your social worker will talk to you about what adoption means. You can say what you want your new family to be like.

You can tell your social worker if there is anyone special that you would like to keep in contact with after you have been adopted.

Sometimes it is scary meeting a new family but your social worker will help you to get to know them. Remember that all adoption families are very carefully checked to make sure they are safe.

If you are unhappy you can tell your foster carer, social worker or teacher how you feel.

The Rights and Participation Project (RAPP) is about making sure children are listened to and have a say in decisions that affect their lives. If you feel like no one is listening get in touch with the RAPP team, call (01482) 225855 or the mobile 07971429383.

Call Childline free on 08001111. Calls are free from most mobiles and will not show up on your phone bill.