“When I was first adopted I thought I was going to hate my new family – they seemed really annoying and thought they were perfect. But I talked to my social worker who made me realise it just took time for us to get used to one another. Talking to my new family about how I was feeling really helped.”

Ben, 15

I’m adopted and want to find my birth parents-how?

It’s natural to be curious about your birth family, to want to know what they were like and to understand why they felt it would be better for you to be adopted.

You may have a life story book and a letter for later life as well as reports that were written about you at the time of your adoption.

Lots of adopted people are worried about upsetting their adoptive families by showing an interest in birth families.  If they seem a bit upset or stressed by it they might just be worried about you getting hurt.

It’s best not to try to make contact with your birth family by yourself.  There may be someone in the family who isn’t safe.  You may be frightened or disappointed by the response you get. This kind of meeting needs to be arranged by a specially trained social worker who can help everyone involved.

If you’re not happy at home talk to a teacher, youth worker or other adult you trust.

I’m in care and about to get a new family-what if I don’t like them?

Hull Fostering helps children whose families are not able to look after them by providing them with a safe home. Only people who can provide a safe and caring home are allowed to be foster carers.

Sometimes it is scary meeting a new family but your social worker will help you to get to know them.

It’s ok to miss your birth parents. Being with your adoptive family doesn’t mean you have to forget the past. This is just a new chapter in your life.

It takes time to settle in and get used to different rules and ways of doing things - try and be yourself and feel at home. Talk to your social worker or carer if you feel unsure.

There may be times when you feel very aware of being fostered or adopted. Birthdays might remind you of your birth parents. It’s easy to blame problems at home on being fostered or adopted but remember all families have ups and downs.

The Rights and Participation Project (RAPP) is about making sure children are listened to and have a say in decisions that affect their lives. If you feel like no one is listening get in touch with the RAPP team, call (01482) 225855 or the mobile 07971429383.

Call Childline free on 08001111. Calls are free from most mobiles and will not show up on your phone bill.